Friday, March 6, 2015

A Day Two Be Continued

Pre-Pageant Gabfest on the Balcony
Really left you hangin' with the promise of hot bods on display yesterday, didn't I :-) Did you experience the same heart palpitating, eagerly anticipated imaginings of what a Sexy Man contest might entail that I did? No? Well now is the time to skip to the next post, if this kind of scene ain't your thing, but if it IS reading you'll enjoy, let me confide in you; it was all that I could not have hoped for/guessed at and more. 
There weren't many open chairs on deck, and I hadn't even considered putting on a bathing suit before heading up. Just goes to show that a day into the cruise and my mind has not yet acclimated to the no clothing required poolside wardrobe possibilities. My shirt of the day was kind of a waffle/ net pattern though, so at the very least perhaps I could soak in a speckling of sun. If I'm really lucky it won't stay with me in the same tell-tale way many net-shirt wearing sunburns I've seen sported back in the earlier 80's. Oops the fact that I really remember that, may have dated myself slightly.
I settled onto a settee in the shade, and then realized that while I had joked earlier that in fact I'm very well qualified to judge a pageant such as this, I certainly won't have that opportunity if I stay way over on the opposite side of the contest area. Plus, I could see some hefty muscle sporting dudes collecting near the bar and stage set up, and that was eye candy I would stand for if need be. 
As the men reported their names to the entertaining fellow emcee-ing the event, I snuck into the thick of them to inquire how indeed might I volunteer for the task of judging one a winner of the contest to come. "Oh we'll be asking for volunteers shortly," I was told in either an Australian or New Zealand accent, so I just hung slightly out of the way and moved in for the kill, I mean, seat as soon as they cleared the area. 
Giddy with Expectations
One gal clearly intended to best me in acquiring a position of judgment, shouting to her friend to "Get UP here!" Repeatedly. Even though she was told, there will be a selection process, it's not just first come first service me lol. The first judge to be granted a seat needed to be in the 21-25 category, and a bubbly young blond with drink in hand bounced into position. Next, a call out for 25-35 year olds! Two leaps to stage and boing, down I went, nearly hugging myself with delight as two more generations of beauty were granted their power seats. Introductions had to include our name, where we were from, and what we'd be looking for as we  determine collectively the SEXIEST MAN IN the WORLD! I hinted that I'd be looking for the man sporting the most, er, confidence... which elicited the emcees query of whether bigger is better in the confidence department. I think it was clear I'd be burning with the blush throughout the competition!
First up was a good sport- it definitely took a lot of guts to go down the line of keen eyed ladies, but he put a good amount of shakin' in his step and we applauded his efforts. 
Next we had strutting into our personal space a pumped up Chris Pratt look-alike who invited the older gals to feel his "bulkier" parts. Hey, I'm talking about his biceps, sheesh! I wasn't sure how to stop laughing when he targeted the woman to my left and, gazing lustily into her eyes, handed her his room card. Emcee had a good laugh with us as he suggested all the ways we might enjoy the ships offerings while in possession of said gifted key card. 
What are you looking for on stage today? "Size Matters."
A very handsome European looker with coordinating red sunglasses and shorts brought out the howls- this guy really new how to shake his bumbum! And abs all around, oh wow. BUT, there was simply not enough hair on him to satisfy our expectations of what a Real Sexy Man attributions ought to be.
Enter the Duck Commander, as he introduced himself... from the length and width of his BEARD to the strength and size of his powder keg trunk, this guy exhibited the kind of meat providing manliness that women throughout the ages have bet their futures on. I mean, can Your Man call in a duck for dinner? Note to the fellows, That's a super hot quality! Quack Quack. 
Who could possibly best the beast? Would it be the young army stud with farmers tan from constant uniform-ing? Perhaps the boy who showed off his long, extremely hairy legs with a shorty shorts adjustment. The personal trainer who stole Chris Pratt's previously mentioned chair push ups move (yeah right). Or maybe it would be Romeo, who bless his newlywed wife's heart volunteered to fill the last contestant slot in the contest. 
With just 30 seconds on the clock to impress us one last time, the muscle flexing gyrations and hip thrusting reached a frenzied degree of performance, offset by Red Shorts kneeling down before each of us to look us in the eyes, shake our hands and admit that, he "respected us." Hey, if I  wasn't starting to suspect he played for the other team, I may have been persuaded by his suaveness, but as it ended up, consolation prize categories did not include Smoothest Operator!
Mysterious, Muscles, and um, Man Handled
Best bootie shaking went to Chris Pratt, our Romeo took home the Typical Tourist category accolades, Boy Wonder got my Hairiest Legs title, and the personal trainer lit up like a Christmas tree when he received his Most Muscle-Bound placard. 
Mental Drumroll as we ladies congregated in a huddle to decided who  really was deserving of our Beach Towel which would proclaim to the world that he was the Sexiest Man. Lone Star McGraw? Lap Dance Larry?   Nope, it was unanimous who had stolen our hearts and the show; the man who exuded sex appeal through his barely contained manliness... the mysterious man in black; The Duck Commander! I think he was a surprised as the rest of the guys were, and thanked us each repeatedly in his sweetly Southern accent. Even I got a participation award of luggage tags reading, "I love baggage handlers." Hmmm. That one's open for interpretation!
Hey D, Guess What I've Been Doing?
I thought to myself, the ladies will NOT believe what I have been up to! and set off in search of some of those Best Day Ever embellishments that I keep secured away from adhesive. Some of my subscribers may remember me blogging about my struggles with accepting the perma-blush I've worn since housing Rainier, but I wasn't offended in the slightest by one of the nice, older gentleman audience members and his wife pulling me aside with concern as to whether I was okay or not, because "You're face is awfully red, do you need to sit down and rest for a bit?" Oh I need to cool off alight, but I think my room would be a more appropriate place to do so!
Same shade of pink my face had been
As if the day couldn't possibly get any better, it was capped off my a truly enjoyable meal. Our tablemates include our Houston hotel friends, Lani and Nancy! I'm sure each night's dinner conversing will continue to be a delightful review of our individual venturing on and off the ship. And then to end the day on the perfect note, I was joined at the Two Poets club by D, Emily and Beth, who were sweet enough to cheer on my Karaoke version of how I Heard it Through the Grapevine. A few other patrons might have even been singing along... 
With our trip off to such a magnificent start, expectations of enjoyments to come are already crowding out my plans for rest, relaxation, and the completion of the few kits I brought along. 
The thing about those Best Day Ever embellies? I struggle with the idea that any day could be better than the days I've birthed my girls. And how could one of those days be better than the other? So it was with great delight that I happened on the phrase, Best Moment Ever... and a day so perfectly filled with right up my ally fun that I can finally the embrace the idea of labeling it with one of those hoarded paper pieces.
Of course, sexy can be defined many ways depending on the perspective of the judger, for instance it's obvious I put a lot of sex appeal points in the "providing delicious food" category! Something my daughters' father does extraordinarily well. He wasn't on board, but I could still show my appreciation for his support of my craft lifestyle pursuits with a beautiful page featuring papers culled from our Embellish It kits on the table, and even a die cut of my own. Later I'd realize these papers were part of our layout class, but I was more than pleased with the alternative design I came up with.
Ray works so hard at providing the best for our family, and as a mom, there is no better feeling than knowing your daughter is being taken care of. I hope he knows what piece of mind that is for all the generations shown swinging here in the sun.  I rarely get to see his work as local farrier, but occasionally when his family is in town visiting, I'm able to tag along and capture a snapshot of how difficult his work is.
 It was his idea for me to teach classes on the cruise ships, and he generously took care of the girls for the duration of my week of research, relaxation and restoration. I'm so happy I could come home and tell him of my success in building friendships on board, the many contacts made for future classes I'll be teaching, and share with him the copious notes taken for this blog and the lecture style review presentations I'm hosting this summer at our local library.
Thanks for coming back to complete vicariously my Best Day Ever.

1 comment:

  1. Awwwwww, from excitement to sentiment- loved your story!